5 months

 Rowan is 5 months old now!  I know babies grow and develop a lot in their first year, but man...I feel like this month has been huge for Rowan!  Where to begin...

Double ear infection, a cold, and a little smile

On the bad side of things, Rowan has had his first ear infections...and they've been back to back.  Well-I guess I can't say for sure that the ear infections have been back to back, it may have just been one long ear infection.  We took him to the doctor because he had a red spot on his eye and discovered he had an ear infection in his right ear.  Did amoxicillin for 10 days, and then had a follow up appointment a few days later.  At that follow up appointment Rowan had an ear infection in both ear.  So the pink-bubble gum medicine may not have done the trick OR he got a another ear infection.  Either way, we're on omnicef now.  Here's hoping it works.  His digestive track has been affected WAY more after 2 days of omnicef than all 10 days of amoxicillin, so I'm assuming this new antibiotic is doing more work.

Rowan is also fighting a cold.  He sounds so pathetically sweet when he's sick.  I feel bad for him now because it seems like he's hoarse.  We thought it may be croup or RSV or something, but the doctor didn't think so.  He's not coughing all that much, so that's good.  He's still liking to sleep a lot when he's not feeling so good, so that's amazing.  Sad though that the only time he takes good naps is when he's sick...

Ok, now onto the fun stuff!  Rowan. Loves. Food!  We've only tried cereal and avocados, but he loves them.  He's a little less enthralled by cereal now...but it's pretty bland so I can't say I blame him.  Avocados though...AMAZING!  We're venturing into the world of bananas, apples, and sweet potatoes shortly.  We're making baby food for him, which I have to say really isn't that hard.  Buy some fresh produce, cook it, blend it up with a little milk, and voila!  You've got 2 ingredient baby food.  It's fun to plan what we're going to feed him.  And boy does he love it. 

Tummy time isn't so bad now that I have control

Rowan's been moving around so much too.  Well...by so much I mean from back to front and front to back and in a circle.  He scoots along pretty well, but is not trying to crawl around yet.  He does love rolling from his back to tummy and back again.  There were a few days in there where he forgot how to roll from his tummy back to his back.  He remembered though, just took him a few days of fussing for a bit and then getting some assistance from Ian or I.

Tummy sleeper

Rowan is also no longer a back sleeper-officially.  When we put him in his crib, he stays on his back long enough for us to wrap him up...sometimes.  Sometimes he's rolled onto his side even before we have the blanket around him.  I was a little nervous about him sleeping on his tummy for a moment-especially when he forgot how to roll back over from his stomach to his back-but he's been doing just fine.  I figure if he put himself onto his stomach, he has the strength to either get him self back onto his back or let us know he needs to be moved.  Guess that's one thing he gets from his mama =)

Figuring out what this guy does

He continues to just be ever so happy and smiley-even when he's feeling sick.  His laughs are more frequent and a bit more predictable now.  We both love making our baby boy giggle.  Rowan does get fussy and frustrated at his toys sometimes when they aren't doing what he wants.  He's starting to realize some of them do things (like make music) and he wants to figure it out.  Sometimes they're a bit tricky for him and he doesn't like that.  But once he figures it out, he has a big happy smile on his face like he's so proud of himself.  It's great to watch him make some of these connections.

We won't have 'official' stats on his size until 6 months, but we know he's still growing.  He's still in 6 month clothes and size 2 diapers when we're using disposables.  At the last doctor's appointment (when we found the double ear infection) he was 15lbs with his clothes on.  So he's continuing to gain weight, which is good...he's just a little peanut though. 


His facial expressions are great too.  He's personality is shining through more and more each day.  I think we're going to have a little jokester and flirt on our hands...

Why so serious?

Oh...I know you!

Lemme smile for you

Nope...not in love

...with breastfeeding that is.

Now...before I go any further, I feel like I need to say that this is not a post about me whining or complaining.  This is just a place for me to express my feelings about my journey breastfeeding Rowan.  I know each mother is different and each child is different...this is just my story so far.

With that disclaimer out of the way, I am so not in love with breastfeeding.  I don't dislike it, in fact there are several things I enjoy about nursing.  I'm thankful for the medical benefits for both Rowan and I.  I'm thankful for the efficiency and convenience of not having to worry about bringing bottles and formula when we're out and about.  I'm thankful for all the smiles and looks Rowan gives me when we're nursing...I think that's my favorite part.  I mean...how can you not just feel amazing when you have a sweet baby face inches away from yours that just smiles so brightly. 

But...then there are the parts that aren't exactly my favorite.  I can honestly say I HATE that I'm either tied to a pump or Rowan every three hours of every day.  I don't mind being tied to Rowan, but I hate the fact that if I want to go and do something for more than a few hours without Rowan, I have to bring along my pump and make sure I'm pumping every three-ish hours.  I also hate the fact that I have to pump every morning.  Rowan does a good job of draining 1/2 the milk I make overnight, but he can't drain it all.  So that means I get to pump every morning on top of nursing.  Spending 30-45 minutes each morning draining my udders is not my ideal way to wake up. 

I'm also frustrated with some of the struggles I've had with nursing.  Rowan and I figured out the whole latching thing within the first month, so that was great.  But because I am a freak of nature I produce a lot of milk.  Producing way more milk than Rowan needs has its pros and cons.  It's nice to know we have a freezer full of milk in case I have a dip in production for some reason.  It's also nice to know that I can donate milk to a milk bank in Kansas City for premature babies that need breast milk and can't get it from their mamas for some reason.  The bad thing is it has led to many a blocked duct and two cases of mastitis in the almost 5 months I've been nursing.  And when mastitis hits, I. Feel. Like. Death.  Fever...chills...aches...lethargy...and pain.  Oh the pain I feel in my boob.  Thankfully my milk production has slowed a bit so I'm not waking up in pain due to engorgement every morning.  And here's hoping there's no more mastitis in my future...twice is more than enough.

So do I hate breastfeeding?  Absolutely not!  I am just looking forward to having control over my body.  I'm looking forward to eating and drinking what I want when I want.  I'm looking forward to being able to spend an afternoon away from Rowan having some precious me time without having to plan time to pump.  I don't regret a single second I've spent nursing or pumping.  I don't wish I had that time to do something else.  I'm just not a mother that loves breastfeeding so much I won't want to give it up.  Once Rowan's ready to wean, we're going to tackle that beast full force.  But until then, I have about 7 months of sweet smiles and tender moments to look forward to while nursing my baby boy.  Those are the things that's going to make it possible for me to nurse until Rowan's first birthday...or thereabouts.

4 Months old and Baby's First Christmas

Being Four Months Old is Awesome!

Rowan is 4 months old now!  I may be in the minority of mothers here, but I LOVE seeing him grow!  I love seeing him start to giggle at different things...figure out what his toys do...have 'real' conversations with people.  It's great.  I'm loving every minute of his live and so very excited to see what's going to come next.

I'm so big!

Last week Rowan had his four month check.  He got a positive report from the doctor and everyone just thought he was super adorable.  The doctor even commented that it had been a while since she had a cute boy.  (I don't think I'll ever get tired of people telling me my baby boy is cute)  Rowan had to get his second round of shots.  He really didn't do too bad with them.  He cried (some real tears even) when he got the shots, but calmed down right when I picked him up.  He even smiled for the nurses before the left the room.  I think it made them feel a little bit better knowing he forgave them so quickly.

Baby play date

He also had a follow up appointment with the dermatologist.  He got another positive report from her.  He still has his hemangioma, and it will likely stay there until he's a bit older.  There is no longer an ulceration there though, which is wonderful!  She wants us to be careful with diaper changes still because the hemangioma could keep growing for another couple of months.  Here's hoping it doesn't grow much bigger OR if it does, it doesn't ulcerate again.  That just makes things a bit more complicated.

At four months:

-Rowan is 13 lb 13oz (25 1/2 percentile) and 25 1/2 inches (70th percentile)...not quite sure where tall and skinny comes from.  I was a bit nervous because he dropped in weight percentile from the 44% at 2 months to 25.5% at 4 months, but the doctor wasn't concerned.  She said he was still following a good curve, so he's doing just fine.

- He's consistently rolling from front to back.  He does get stuck sometimes, but he's pretty good about looking around for a little bit and then rolling himself over.  He'll roll himself completely on his side to try and go from back to front, but doesn't get all the way over yet.

- He's chewing on his hands quite a bit and drooling lots.  No teeth seem to be coming up, but we're pretty sure that's on the not so distant horizon

- He's sleeping wonderful.  He goes to bed between 8 and 9 usually, wakes up at about 5 to eat, and then goes back to sleep until about 9.  We're really really lucky.  He's taking three to four short naps during the day (about 30-45 minutes) so most of his sleep is at night.

- He is laughing a lot more now.  He gets such a high pitched giggle...it's just adorable.  

Daddy set it up so I could play my piano

Sometime in the next month or so we're going to venture into the world of rice cereal.  Crazy to think that he's going to be eating 'solid' food soon.  Starting to figure out what food we're going to make for him first.  Here's hoping he likes more vegetables than his daddy does!

First Christmas Eve

 Rowan's first Christmas was a bit of a whirlwind.  The week just flew by, but it was a wonderful week.  I got some unexpected time off on Christmas Eve, which was the best Christmas present ever!  Ian and I got to enjoy our first Christmas as a little family together.  Complete with Christmas Eve service...and Rowan wearing a bow tie.  He looked simply adorable (in my humble and completely unbiased opinion)  =)

The rest of the week was spent in Lincoln with Ian's family.  Ian's parents were able to come down from Gillette despite some questionable weather and a burst hot water heater.  We were so glad they came down.  Ian's brother Colin also came down and got to meet Rowan for the first time.  Aileen's house was FULL to the brim with the 8 adults, 2 kids, 2 little dogs, and 1 baby...but it was the great to have the whole family under one roof.

This will be full each year, right?

Rowan of course got spoiled beyond belief by both sides of the family.  Rowan's Gigi (my Nana) had a stocking knitted for him that's bigger than him.  I guess someone's expecting Rowan to be on the nice list each year...don't think my sweet boy will have a problem with that.

Love my aunt Aileen

Aunt Larka makes me smile

Grandma and Grandpa

First Christmas hat

Passed out baby

Balancing Act

Looking good in a hat

 So now that I'm back at work full time, the tattoo shop Ian's working at is up and running, and derby is back on my radar it's time to figure out how I can (or can't) balance all the stuff in my life I want to do.  That my friends, is proving to be quite the challenge.

Merry Christmas World!

My first full time week back at work was awful.  I forced myself to go into the office Monday through Thursday instead of working from home.  Not only that, but I had something going on every night that week...starting on Sunday with derby...babysitting Monday...derby Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday...it just got to be too much.  I felt like I was hardly seeing Ian and Rowan...something I did not like one bit.  So instead of going to derby on Thursday, I stayed home so we could have a family night.  It was much needed.  That week I realized that as much as I want to keep doing everything the same, that just wasn't an option. I wasn't so naive to know that I could keep the same pace/schedule/routine once Rowan was born, I just didn't know how it would all evolve and change.

Each week that I've been at work has gotten a little easier.  It helps that I have been taking advantage of my ability to work from home more and more.  Saving the 30 minute commute downtown each morning AND evening is a huge plus.  It enables me to actually work a 630-300 schedule.  I love getting off work early, though being ready to work at 630 is pretty hard.  Thankfully Rowan is usually waking up around 5 or 530 to eat, so he's a pretty effective alarm clock. 

Montana Moose Shirt!

Working from home has its own set of challenges though.  Ian and I have set it up so that I work up stairs and he watches Rowan downstairs.  Problems is I hear what's going on down there.  When Rowan's upset, I want to hold him-not that Ian's not capable of soothing Rowan, but that's what I want to do as his momma.  When Rowan's happy, I want to see what's making him giggle.  (FYI: Rowan thinks the Violent Femmes are HILARIOUS)  I want to listen to his stories and watch him play with his toys.  But...instead I focus on my work and enjoy feeding Rowan.  That's the only care taking job I have during the week when I work from home.  It's not much, but it gives me a little time each day with my little man.  I just substitute the time I'd spend pumping when at the office for time spent nursing.

Sleep boy

When I get off work, whether I worked from home or went into the office, I don't want to do anything but hang out with Rowan.  I want to see him play, read him stories, and listen to his words.  But then there's the evening activities...derby, cooking, laundry, cleaning, and giving myself time to relax too.  So how do I fit all that in between the hours of 3:00 and 8:00?  I don't.  Our laundry piles up...dog hair lives in our carpet...dishes stack up...and I'm OK with that.  Ian's been doing a lot more of the house chores.  I think he knows I want to see my little boy when I'm done with work and not multitask.  But he can only do so much too.  One the days he goes into the shop, he leaves when I get off work at 3:00.

Then there's this whole idea of spending time with Ian.  We still manage to find time together, but it's not as easy.  Some days I really miss Ian and feel like I hardly talk to him.  He's great at giving me space when I work from home, but on the days he goes to the shop we hardly see each other.  I'm in bed by the time he gets back, so it's a few minutes of talking before he leaves.  Thankfully we have at least one night a week and some time on weekends where we can all be together.  

I know we'll continue to work to find our rhythm.  I also know I'll have to let some things change and perhaps fizzle into the background.  I'm still not sure how it's going to look, but we'll figure it out day by day.  Each day we're figuring out a little bit more. Maybe by the time Rowan moves out we'll have it all figured out.

Talk much?

Saturday

Rowan has been talking all the time lately.  He's also discovered he really likes his soft octopus toy...though he gets very frustrated with it sometimes.  We're not quite sure what he wants it to do, but he'll be grabbing at it and then start crying because it's not doing what he wants.  Anyway, tonight he was playing with his octopus and telling him who's the boss in this house.  Had to capture it on camera.  Their conversation lasted for a while too.  Long enough for me to realize he was going to talk for a while, go get the camera, and take two 30 second videos...so I'm not exaggerating much when I say he probably talked to his octopus for about 5 minutes.  We'll see if Mr. Octopus behaves tomorrow when he and Rowan play...

Sunday...and oh so happy!

Also I'm pretty sure he grow overnight this weekend.  I woke up Sunday and I felt like I had a big baby boy in my house.  Thankfully I did snap a picture on Saturday and then another one on Sunday.  Looking at the pictures I don't see a huge difference.  But man...I felt like there was on Sunday.  Maybe it just took me until Sunday to realize that Rowan is 3 months old...and growing more every day.

3 months

It's hard to believe that Rowan is 3 months old now.  I know we haven't been parents all that long, but I'm already forgetting what life was like as a family of two...and I'm 100% OK with that.

So where to begin with what's been going on with our little man...



Rowan and Gigi (my Nana)

Rowan: He's still amazing.  He smiles all the time and even giggles every now and then.  I was putting him in his car seat the other day to go for a run (his car seat sets in our jogging stroller) and he got the giggles.  I'm not sure if he knew how badly that 'run' was going to go (first attempt at a real run since February was NOT pretty), but something certainly made him giggle.  He also got the giggles when I was singing Jiggle Bells the other day.  Every time I see his smile or hear his laugh my heart just melts a little more.  What's even better is seeing how much joy he brings other people.  He's a pretty special gift that's for sure.

 

Me, my brother, and Rowan in the backwoods of MN



His ulcerated hemangioma is still there, though looking a lot better.  At our last appointment with the dermatologist, she said there was no need to put him in the hospital for the oral medication.  She was surprised at how clean it looked...go us!  We're continuing to follow their 'gentle diaper care' recommendations and it looks like the ulceration is healing.  I'm guessing we'll continue to use washcloths and water for diaper changes while at home, but we may start using wipes while out an about.   So much easier to toss a wipe than to figure out what to do with a wet washcloth when you're traveling or running errands.



Rowan and Nana



We could not ask for better sleep patterns for this little guy.  He seems to like the 9:00 hour for his bed time, and then will sleep until 6...7...or even 8 without waking up.  Naps are still a little hit and miss, but we're figuring out that he likes to wake up, eat, and play for about an hour, then he's ready for a nap.  His naps are still pretty short (30-45 minutes), but we won't complain as long as he still sleeps so well at night.

Rowan did so very well on our trip up to MN for Thanksgiving too.  He slept for 90% of the 9 hour car ride.  We stopped every couple of hours for so he could get changed and eat.  I think Rowan was grateful for the breaks because he tried to make them last as long as possible.  When we stopped, we would change him and then I would nurse.  EVERY TIME I was nursing him, he pooped while eating so we had to change his diaper again.  I think it was his infantile way of protesting being stuck in the car seat for so long.  Both on the way to MN and on the way back he had a screaming fit for about 30 minutes on our last leg of the trip.  We couldn't do anything to make him happy so he just had to cry it out while we were holding his toy in front of him or letting him hold one of our fingers.  But...we all survived and had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  Rowan even got to see his first snow...though I doubt it made much of an impression through the windows of the house.



Soaking up Nana cuddles



He is still growing, but his growth has definitely slowed down.  During the first two months he grew soooooo much!  Considering he started at 6lb 10oz, and was 11lb 4 oz at 2 months...that's a lot of weight to gain in a short time.  We won't have an update on his weight until his 4 month check, but I'm certain he hasn't gained another 4 1/2 pounds.  He's gained a few more rolls on his little body.  My favorites are the ones on his wrists and hands.  He's such a little chubster...I love it!  I'm glad he's slowed down a bit...because frankly, if he had kept up at his same pace, he would have been 50 pounds by his first birthday! (Ok...maybe not that much...but still!).  He was definitely going through a growth spurt earlier this week.  He's still wearing 3 month clothes, though some of them are starting to get a bit small.  

Papa and his grandsons



I have to admit...I've been awful about taking pictures this last month.  With trying to find that 'perfect balance' (more on that later) pictures are one thing that have gone by the wayside.  This month I'm going to try and get better.  I'm just thankful that my mom and sister-in-law were much better at documenting Rowan's first Thanksgiving and trip to Minnesota than me.  So these photos are all courtesy of them.



Yup...3 months old and a stud



Great is Thy Faithfulness

I had possibly the best moment of my entire life today...I'm not even sure how to put it into words.  I just know it was a gift meant just for me.

It started in the kitchen doing one of my least favorite chores---the dishes.  Rowan was happily playing in his bouncy seat while I was washing dishes.  It was just the two of us at home.  I had some music playing in the background too.  When I was done with dishes, I got down on the floor in front of him and started singing along with the song.  It was past the first verse of Chris Rice's version of Come Thou Fount...so needeless to say I didn't know the words.  Skip skip went the iPod and it came to Great is Thy Faithfulness.  This one I knew a bit better, so I started singing along.  The whole time, Rowan had one of my fingers in each of his hands and was happily moving his arms to the music.  What made it even better, is that he was smiling bigger and brighter than I have ever seen and it seemed as if he was wanting to sing along with me.  It was so very special and my heart exploded with happiness.  I know...because it spilled out of my eyes. 

For a moment, I wished someone was there to capture the moment with a video camera.  But afterwards, I was so glad that moment was mine...something that only Rowan and I got to share.  It was such a gift, and something I am so very very thankful for.