Balancing Act

Looking good in a hat

 So now that I'm back at work full time, the tattoo shop Ian's working at is up and running, and derby is back on my radar it's time to figure out how I can (or can't) balance all the stuff in my life I want to do.  That my friends, is proving to be quite the challenge.

Merry Christmas World!

My first full time week back at work was awful.  I forced myself to go into the office Monday through Thursday instead of working from home.  Not only that, but I had something going on every night that week...starting on Sunday with derby...babysitting Monday...derby Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday...it just got to be too much.  I felt like I was hardly seeing Ian and Rowan...something I did not like one bit.  So instead of going to derby on Thursday, I stayed home so we could have a family night.  It was much needed.  That week I realized that as much as I want to keep doing everything the same, that just wasn't an option. I wasn't so naive to know that I could keep the same pace/schedule/routine once Rowan was born, I just didn't know how it would all evolve and change.

Each week that I've been at work has gotten a little easier.  It helps that I have been taking advantage of my ability to work from home more and more.  Saving the 30 minute commute downtown each morning AND evening is a huge plus.  It enables me to actually work a 630-300 schedule.  I love getting off work early, though being ready to work at 630 is pretty hard.  Thankfully Rowan is usually waking up around 5 or 530 to eat, so he's a pretty effective alarm clock. 

Montana Moose Shirt!

Working from home has its own set of challenges though.  Ian and I have set it up so that I work up stairs and he watches Rowan downstairs.  Problems is I hear what's going on down there.  When Rowan's upset, I want to hold him-not that Ian's not capable of soothing Rowan, but that's what I want to do as his momma.  When Rowan's happy, I want to see what's making him giggle.  (FYI: Rowan thinks the Violent Femmes are HILARIOUS)  I want to listen to his stories and watch him play with his toys.  But...instead I focus on my work and enjoy feeding Rowan.  That's the only care taking job I have during the week when I work from home.  It's not much, but it gives me a little time each day with my little man.  I just substitute the time I'd spend pumping when at the office for time spent nursing.

Sleep boy

When I get off work, whether I worked from home or went into the office, I don't want to do anything but hang out with Rowan.  I want to see him play, read him stories, and listen to his words.  But then there's the evening activities...derby, cooking, laundry, cleaning, and giving myself time to relax too.  So how do I fit all that in between the hours of 3:00 and 8:00?  I don't.  Our laundry piles up...dog hair lives in our carpet...dishes stack up...and I'm OK with that.  Ian's been doing a lot more of the house chores.  I think he knows I want to see my little boy when I'm done with work and not multitask.  But he can only do so much too.  One the days he goes into the shop, he leaves when I get off work at 3:00.

Then there's this whole idea of spending time with Ian.  We still manage to find time together, but it's not as easy.  Some days I really miss Ian and feel like I hardly talk to him.  He's great at giving me space when I work from home, but on the days he goes to the shop we hardly see each other.  I'm in bed by the time he gets back, so it's a few minutes of talking before he leaves.  Thankfully we have at least one night a week and some time on weekends where we can all be together.  

I know we'll continue to work to find our rhythm.  I also know I'll have to let some things change and perhaps fizzle into the background.  I'm still not sure how it's going to look, but we'll figure it out day by day.  Each day we're figuring out a little bit more. Maybe by the time Rowan moves out we'll have it all figured out.

Talk much?

Saturday

Rowan has been talking all the time lately.  He's also discovered he really likes his soft octopus toy...though he gets very frustrated with it sometimes.  We're not quite sure what he wants it to do, but he'll be grabbing at it and then start crying because it's not doing what he wants.  Anyway, tonight he was playing with his octopus and telling him who's the boss in this house.  Had to capture it on camera.  Their conversation lasted for a while too.  Long enough for me to realize he was going to talk for a while, go get the camera, and take two 30 second videos...so I'm not exaggerating much when I say he probably talked to his octopus for about 5 minutes.  We'll see if Mr. Octopus behaves tomorrow when he and Rowan play...

Sunday...and oh so happy!

Also I'm pretty sure he grow overnight this weekend.  I woke up Sunday and I felt like I had a big baby boy in my house.  Thankfully I did snap a picture on Saturday and then another one on Sunday.  Looking at the pictures I don't see a huge difference.  But man...I felt like there was on Sunday.  Maybe it just took me until Sunday to realize that Rowan is 3 months old...and growing more every day.

3 months

It's hard to believe that Rowan is 3 months old now.  I know we haven't been parents all that long, but I'm already forgetting what life was like as a family of two...and I'm 100% OK with that.

So where to begin with what's been going on with our little man...



Rowan and Gigi (my Nana)

Rowan: He's still amazing.  He smiles all the time and even giggles every now and then.  I was putting him in his car seat the other day to go for a run (his car seat sets in our jogging stroller) and he got the giggles.  I'm not sure if he knew how badly that 'run' was going to go (first attempt at a real run since February was NOT pretty), but something certainly made him giggle.  He also got the giggles when I was singing Jiggle Bells the other day.  Every time I see his smile or hear his laugh my heart just melts a little more.  What's even better is seeing how much joy he brings other people.  He's a pretty special gift that's for sure.

 

Me, my brother, and Rowan in the backwoods of MN



His ulcerated hemangioma is still there, though looking a lot better.  At our last appointment with the dermatologist, she said there was no need to put him in the hospital for the oral medication.  She was surprised at how clean it looked...go us!  We're continuing to follow their 'gentle diaper care' recommendations and it looks like the ulceration is healing.  I'm guessing we'll continue to use washcloths and water for diaper changes while at home, but we may start using wipes while out an about.   So much easier to toss a wipe than to figure out what to do with a wet washcloth when you're traveling or running errands.



Rowan and Nana



We could not ask for better sleep patterns for this little guy.  He seems to like the 9:00 hour for his bed time, and then will sleep until 6...7...or even 8 without waking up.  Naps are still a little hit and miss, but we're figuring out that he likes to wake up, eat, and play for about an hour, then he's ready for a nap.  His naps are still pretty short (30-45 minutes), but we won't complain as long as he still sleeps so well at night.

Rowan did so very well on our trip up to MN for Thanksgiving too.  He slept for 90% of the 9 hour car ride.  We stopped every couple of hours for so he could get changed and eat.  I think Rowan was grateful for the breaks because he tried to make them last as long as possible.  When we stopped, we would change him and then I would nurse.  EVERY TIME I was nursing him, he pooped while eating so we had to change his diaper again.  I think it was his infantile way of protesting being stuck in the car seat for so long.  Both on the way to MN and on the way back he had a screaming fit for about 30 minutes on our last leg of the trip.  We couldn't do anything to make him happy so he just had to cry it out while we were holding his toy in front of him or letting him hold one of our fingers.  But...we all survived and had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  Rowan even got to see his first snow...though I doubt it made much of an impression through the windows of the house.



Soaking up Nana cuddles



He is still growing, but his growth has definitely slowed down.  During the first two months he grew soooooo much!  Considering he started at 6lb 10oz, and was 11lb 4 oz at 2 months...that's a lot of weight to gain in a short time.  We won't have an update on his weight until his 4 month check, but I'm certain he hasn't gained another 4 1/2 pounds.  He's gained a few more rolls on his little body.  My favorites are the ones on his wrists and hands.  He's such a little chubster...I love it!  I'm glad he's slowed down a bit...because frankly, if he had kept up at his same pace, he would have been 50 pounds by his first birthday! (Ok...maybe not that much...but still!).  He was definitely going through a growth spurt earlier this week.  He's still wearing 3 month clothes, though some of them are starting to get a bit small.  

Papa and his grandsons



I have to admit...I've been awful about taking pictures this last month.  With trying to find that 'perfect balance' (more on that later) pictures are one thing that have gone by the wayside.  This month I'm going to try and get better.  I'm just thankful that my mom and sister-in-law were much better at documenting Rowan's first Thanksgiving and trip to Minnesota than me.  So these photos are all courtesy of them.



Yup...3 months old and a stud



Great is Thy Faithfulness

I had possibly the best moment of my entire life today...I'm not even sure how to put it into words.  I just know it was a gift meant just for me.

It started in the kitchen doing one of my least favorite chores---the dishes.  Rowan was happily playing in his bouncy seat while I was washing dishes.  It was just the two of us at home.  I had some music playing in the background too.  When I was done with dishes, I got down on the floor in front of him and started singing along with the song.  It was past the first verse of Chris Rice's version of Come Thou Fount...so needeless to say I didn't know the words.  Skip skip went the iPod and it came to Great is Thy Faithfulness.  This one I knew a bit better, so I started singing along.  The whole time, Rowan had one of my fingers in each of his hands and was happily moving his arms to the music.  What made it even better, is that he was smiling bigger and brighter than I have ever seen and it seemed as if he was wanting to sing along with me.  It was so very special and my heart exploded with happiness.  I know...because it spilled out of my eyes. 

For a moment, I wished someone was there to capture the moment with a video camera.  But afterwards, I was so glad that moment was mine...something that only Rowan and I got to share.  It was such a gift, and something I am so very very thankful for.

2 months!

2 Months Old!

Wow...I did not realize it's been a full month since I posted last about anything, let alone Rowan.  I'm struggling to get back into the 'real world', but each day I'm taking a few more steps in that direction.  It's just hard to do anything when I could just sit and cuddle or play with Rowan all day.  Why do dishes or laundry when you can play with a cute little baby?  But alas...time has come for me to get back into the swing of the real world.

I've started doing derby again...slowly but surely.  The first week back was incredibly painful for my legs, but they are starting to get some strength back.  Now I just need to learn how hard I can push myself to get back into shape.  Though I still have about 10 pounds to loose before I'm back at pre-pregnancy weight, I'm more concerned with rebuilding my strength and endurance.

I've also started back at work.  I'm soooooo glad I will be working part time for a few weeks before jumping back in full time.  It's been wonderful easing back into the working world. 

Alright, now onto Rowan...the awesome little boy he is!  We went for his two month check right at 8 weeks because we wanted to have a spot on his butt looked at again by our doctor (more on that in a minute).  He is doing perfectly.

-Rowan measured at 11 lb 4 oz (44th percentile) and 23 inches (62nd percentile)

-He got his first round of shots...his reaction was pretty much exactly this scene from Elf.  Poor guy screamed for a bit, but calmed down after some cuddles.  I used it as an excuse to keep cuddling with him for the rest of the day
-He is developing a predictable night time pattern of when he wants to eat and when he wants to go to bed for the night.  

Happy boy's play time



-He is consistantly sleeping 6-8 hours at night...and sometimes as long as 9.  Every now and then he'll have a night where he wakes up every 4 hours wanting to eat, but those are becoming the exception rather than the rule.  I LOVE being able to sleep through the night.

-He LOVES play time on his mat.  He'll tell story after story to his toys.  He's also become quite fascinated with his reflection.  Someone knows he's a handsome boy...

-He is not the biggest fan of tummy time on the floor.  He'll prop himself up and work to look around when we hold him up against our chest, but tummy time on the floor just makes him mad.

Now onto the spot on his butt.  About a week after we got him home, we noticed a spot on his butt.  It was a redish spot that we didn't notice before.  What made us nervous about this spot was that it bled a couple of times during diaper changes.  It didn't seem to bother him, but the bleeding was worrisome to us.  Went to the doctor and she didn't quite know what to make of it.  We tried a couple of topical remedies to see if it would go away, and it didn't.  Diagnosis...likely a birth mark we just didn't notice at first.  We were told to keep an eye on it and let her know if it changed.

About a week before our 2 month check, we noticed there seemed to be a lesion on the spot.  It still didn't seem like it was bothering him, but it was a bit scary to see.  We moved his appointment up to have our doctor look at it.  She referred us to a dermatologist to see what  the spot was.  At that appointment, Rowan as diagnosed with an ulcerated hemangioma.  It sounds worse that it really is. A hemangioma is a build up of blood vessels near the surface of the skin.  They can appear anywhere-face, limbs, back, chest, diaper area...anywhere.  It can become raised and is usually red in color.  It's really nothing to worry about as long as it's not interfering with a child's vision or movements.  Since his is on his butt, it was getting wiped and cleaned a lot during diaper changes...which caused it to open or ulcerate.  This could be problematic if it became infected or started to cause Rowan a lot of pain.  The dermatologist recommended we change our diapering routine-only water and wash cloths to clean him up (no wipes) and putting on vasaline at every diaper change.  She also prescribed a gel to put on there twice a day to prevent infection.  Plus we need to do a daily bath and additional baths when he has a big poop.  We scheduled a follow up appointment for the 15th to see how everything is looking.



Halloween PJs



Halloween Pumpkin



Here's where the story gets a little nerve racking...IF the ulceration gets infected and/or IF Rowan starts showing he's in a lot of pain when we change is diaper, there's an oral medication he can get that should help everything heal faster.  Bad news is he would have to be admitted into the hospital for two days when the start the medication so they could monitor his blood pressure and blood sugar.  Neither Ian nor I want him to have to go back into the hospital.  We've been there...done that...and feel no need to repeat that.  So...here's hoping that he heals and/or we can manage his ulcerated hemangioma with these measures until it can fully heal rather than having to admit him into the hospital for oral medication. Obviously we'll do what is best for Rowan...but we'd like to avoid another hospital stay.

But...besides that little hiccup, everything else is going so very well with Rowan.  We're going to take a road trip this weekend to visit my brother and his family in KC and then we'll head up to MN for Thanksgiving.  I'm super excited to introduce Rowan to my dad...it will be the first time dad's met him. 



Will keep you posted after our follow up appointment next week.  Here's hoping things look good and we can keep Rowan out of the hospital.



Meeting Grandpa Vesper for the first time



Meeting Grandma Vesper for the first time





Meeting cousin Kambria for the first time



One month!

Rowan's one month old now!  Wait...what?  A whole month?  Crazy!  He's growing and growing and being awesome in every way possible (not that I'm biased or anything)  =D

-He's consistently sleeping for 4+ hour stretches at night.  He's slept as much as 6 hours a couple of times too...makes night times easy for mom and dad.  He sleeps well during the day most of the time too.  Once he falls asleep, he is OUT.  If he doesn't get to that 'out' level of sleep, he'll take lots of 5 minute cat naps instead of a good long nap.
-He's generally a happy happy baby.  When he has a rough night, he'll fuss and cry for about a half hour, but usually not more than that AND that's before he goes to sleep for the night.  During that half hour, he'll take breaks from crying to sit calmly.  And once he goes to sleep, he'll sleep well.
-During his awake and alert times during the day, he loves to play on his play mat.  He also loves looking into mirrors on his toys.  If we're out and about, he takes everything in and enjoys looking around.  He seems to be very curious and wanting to look at everything.
-He's gaining some major weight.  When we went to the doctor right after 3 weeks, he was up to 8 lb 15 oz.  We'll see how much he puts on between now and his 2 month check!
-He's wearing cloth diapers almost exclusively now.  If he wears disposable diapers, he's wearing size 1.
-He has pretty much outgrown new born clothes.  There are a couple of things that still fit in the new born sizes, but those aren't going to last long.  3 month clothes here we come!  (Good thing that comprises the majority of his wardrobe at this point)

We seriously love our little guy and have enjoyed this last month.  It's hard to remember what life was like before Rowan was here, but I'm loving life as a family of three. 

There's no place like home...

It's so hard for me to believe we've been at home with our baby for over a week now.  It's even crazier for me to think that Rowan is 2 1/2 weeks old.  He's already grown and changed so much since he was born...hard to imagine what the next year (and beyond) will bring.




Meeting Uncle Jason

  

Meeting Aunt Beth



Rowan's been doing awesome since he's been home.  We went to the doctor exactly two weeks after he was born (one week from NICU discharge).  He 'passed' his check up with flying colors.  His head had grown from 13.75 inches to 14.5 inches...baby boy's got a growing brain!  His weight was WAY up too.  He was 6lb10oz at birth...6lb11oz at NICU discharge...and 7lb10oz at his 2 week check!  Explains why his cheeks are getting chubby and his hands are filling out.  Still waiting on those skinny little legs to get a little bit chunkier, but he's working on it. 

Play time with Daddy

Clearly, Rowan's been eating great.  We've got this nursing thing figured out pretty well which makes the night time feedings pretty easy.  He eats regularly-about 2-3 hours during the day and 3-4 hours at night.  He's a little bit of a chugger, so I think he gets some gas and indigestion from that (see next paragraph).  Hopefully he'll learn to slow down and just enjoy his meals instead of eating as fast as he can.  But, when the boy's hungry...he must. eat. now!

For the most part, Rowan's been sleeping great.  Last night was our first rough night because baby boy had an upset tummy.  He had pooped about 8 times yesterday (no I'm no exaggerating) and had some constant toots.  Not sure what made his tummy upset, but something was bothering him.  Ian was up with him most of the night holding him upright to help get that gas out.  He woke me up when it was time for Rowan to eat, and then I was able to go back to bed.  Here's hoping last night was a fluke and not the start of a new pattern for the little man.  



Sleeping baby headed out into the 'real world'

OTHER than last night though, Rowan's night time routine has been a dream for us.  He'll sleep for 3-4 hours at a time, wake up to eat, and then go right back to sleep.  Since he's gaining weight so well, the doctor said it's OK for us to let him go longer than 4 hours at night between feedings.  She doesn't want us going much more than 5 or 6 hours, but if he wants to sleep for 5 hours before eating again, she said that's OK.  I know it will be a while before Rowan is going that long, but each night I go to sleep hoping that he'll go just a little bit longer between night time feedings.  No luck in that department yet though.  I've been feeling pretty rested with my 3ish hour naps at night.  When I sleep, I sleep hard.  I'm also able to go right back to sleep after waking up to feed Rowan.  It's working out pretty well for us.

 

Trying out the swing



During the day, Rowan will be awake and alert for long stretches of time.  He'll keep his eyes wide open looking at anything and everything for about an hour or two AFTER eating.  We usually have to force him to go back to sleep, which he does without too much trouble.  He loves to look up at any toys-whether they're in his pack an play or his play mat.  He has a super strong neck...for a 2 week old.  We'll hold him on our chest for tummy time and he'll lift his head all the way up to look us straight in the eye.  Kids going to be outdoing me in the push up department in about a week me thinks... 

 



Church checking on Rowan



The dogs have adjusted well to him being around as well.  Bishop is very worried whenever Rowan makes a noise.  In the first few days, Bishop had to be right by my feet when I was nursing Rowan.  Church has been a little more indifferent, but she still checks on her baby a couple of times a day to make sure he's OK.  After a week, I think Bishop and Church are just a little disappointed that their sleep schedule is disturbed because of the baby.  That and I think they're feeling a little less loved than normal, but some puppy treats are making up for that =)