Well, I guess we're back in the proverbial saddle. Ian and I found out in January that we're pregnant again. =) =) =)
I've had a mix of emotions with this pregnancy. I am of course VERY excited that we are pregnant. I am however, very nervous about the fact that we are pregnant. These first 8 weeks have been difficult, but I think everything is going to turn out OK.
The most difficult thing for me this time around is just how similar this pregnancy started when compared to our first pregnancy. I had a few symptoms, but nothing too severe. I haven't gotten sick yet, but there are times when I definitely don't feel well...and they are far worse when I am hungry. Red meat is also less than appealing right now. But...at about 7ish weeks these symptoms started to subside just a little bit. They didn't go away, they just calmed down. This is what really scared me. When we had our miscarriage, the doctor said it looked like the baby stopped developing at about 7 or 8 weeks. Not only that, but most of the symptoms I experienced last time had calmed down by about week 7 or 8. Needless to say, I was a bit freaked out when I didn't feel the strength of my pregnancy symptoms anymore.
But...thanks to some friends, I was reminded that I need to ask people to pray for me. I can't just pretend that everything's OK and that I can do everything. God has given me people in my life so that they can be there to support me and help me...and pray for me! After talking to a few friends (who didn't know we were pregnant), I felt so much better. It was good to tell them that we were expecting and what exactly I was feeling. It was also good for them to tell me they understood why I was so nervous...but that I should probably try and calm down a bit if I could. Thanks friends...you helped to bring me back down to earth. <3
So here comes week 8 and the day of our doctor's appointment. I was very much looking forward to seeing our doctor and hopefully getting to see our baby. I wasn't sure if she was going to give us an ultrasound or not...I just knew I needed to have some kind of test to show me that we were on the right track. Thankfully, she did give us an ultrasound without me having to ask. And the best part about it...SHE SAW A HEARTBEAT! It didn't take her very long to find a heartbeat and she seemed so excited to see one. Instantly calmed my nerves. She also said the baby was developing right on track. When we went in, I was at exactly 8 weeks. The baby measured 7 weeks and 6 days. Perfect. Absolutely. Perfect.
I know I'll continue to be nervous until the 11th or 12th week. Ah heck...who am I kidding. I'll be nervous until the little munchkin decides to make their debut into the world. I do think though once we hear the heart beat...I start to show...and I start to feel the little one move, it will really hit me that we're going to have a baby. I won't have these doubts creeping up into my head at random points throughout the day. In a matter of months, we'll be welcoming our own little miracle into the world. I want that day to come...but I'm looking forward to being forced to wait patiently and enjoy this season. I don't know what will come of it, but I do know that it will be something new and exciting everyday.
Right now, even though I'm still nervous and cautiously excited about having a baby...I'm so incredibly thankful that we've been able to get pregnant again and reach this one milestone. I'm so thankful for the support and love we've received already from the few people that know about Baby V. (S)he's been such a blessing in our life already...and I am so thankful for that.